I was really unsure if I was able to write this blog. My heart is beating really fast, but here it is. Today it’s exactly 9 years ago that I lost one of my best friends. Not in a ‘we don’t talk anymore’ kind of losing, the real losing.
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I thought that it would get easier after a couple of years, turns out it doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, you learn how to cope with it but (for me) it doesn’t really get any easier. Sometimes it still hurts as much as 9 years ago.
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It’s really hard to decide what to write. I want my words to be perfect, even though I know that’s not possible. Let me try anyway:
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I’m really trying not to write a depressing blog post. I just wanted to take some time and think of you. I’m glad I have some really beautiful memories of you. It’s a shame that these memories are sometimes almost overpowering. The fact that I’m starting to forget your face, the sound of your voice and your laugh physically hurts me. There are so many things that I would like to say to you, but I’m not sure how to do it. So I’m going to keep it short: thank you for being my friend. Thank you for all the jokes, the hugs and the late night talks. I’m sorry I couldn’t take your pain away.
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I love you and I miss you, a lot.
